Friday, February 25, 2011

Creative Writing Task 2 - Nora Moore

Creative Writing Task 2
It all started off with a family living in Florida, United States of America. They were the Ferrior family. There was a dad, a mum and a little girl called Ashlee, who was 5 years old. Ashlee’s parents originated from Los Angeles while Ashlee was born in Miami.

Ashlee was finishing her last year of pre-school and she was very excited about going to primary school the following year.

One day, after pre-school, Ashlee learnt that her mum is pregnant. Ashlee cheered with excitement, jumping up and down! She had so many thoughts of what it would be like to have a baby sister or brother. Ashlee preferred to have a sister, so she could have a girl to talk to and for company.

Something that Ashlee was always curious about was how her life would change if she had a sibling. Would her house change into a baby dream world or would it stay how it is now with few toys? Would she have to share a room with her sibling or would her family move into a new house as they only have two bedrooms? Ashlee was curious about all those things, but she had to wait and see.

Nine months had passed very quickly. One sunny day Ashlee was at her pre-school playing around with her baby set. Suddenly, her dad came sprinting up to her to tell Ashlee that they had to leave in a hurry as they were late for the hospital. Ashlee was so confused as she didn’t know what was happening. She had a thought that maybe someone in her family got hurt, but she was definitely wrong! The truth was - her mother was in hospital, because she had given birth!

When Ashlee learnt that her mum had given birth, she was extremely excited and a bit nervous about finding out if it was a girl or a boy. Her dad knew, but he wanted to surprise her. As they arrived at the Belmond Hospital, they ran as fast as they possibly could until they reached the door of the room where the mum was resting. The father and daughter both looked at each other in silence, and then counted to three. One, two and thhhrrrreeeee! As they opened the door they saw a little baby resting on the mum’s lap and stared with excitement… especially Ashlee.

Ashlee made her way towards her sibling and the first thing she asked was ’Is it a boy or a girl?’ ‘What do you think?’ asked her mum. ‘Ummmm ….. well, I think it’s a girl and hope it is, but if it isn’t - I am still happy’. ‘Well, you’re correct; it’s a lovely baby girl!’ Ashlee started jumping up and down because she was so happy to have a baby sister!

The mum and the baby came home soon after and they all lived a happy family. Ashlee’s sister was named Stella, they all thought it was a lovely name. There was now four of them – mum, dad, Ashlee and a beautiful baby Stella!
THE END!!!!!

By Nora Moore

1 comment:

  1. Well written Nora! A well structured autobiographical narrative. You need to work on the characters a little. Spend more time describing their personalities and appearance to develop your story more.

    Be careful with tenses. Don't jump from past to present as this sounds clumsy.

    Accurate spelling and expression for the most part. Well handled!

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