Lulu sits in the playground, waiting for the bell. Her thoughts and emotions swirl. Who will her classmates be? Will her teachers be friendly? How will she ever find her way around the school? Lulu imagines vast, empty classrooms, vicious, malicious teachers, tight knots of friends in which she is not welcome. Lulu tries to calm the butterflies in her stomach and gets up as the bell begins to ring.
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Emily walks slowly up the unwelcoming yellow stairs towards reception.
'Hello?' she ventures, timidly. 'Where is my room?'
She receives the answer happily, and almost sprints to the safety of her classroom. Emily worries. What if her students hate her? Or worse, what if the teachers hate her? Emily waits until the bell rings, then gathers her folders and walks to the field.
'Hello?' she ventures, timidly. 'Where is my room?'
She receives the answer happily, and almost sprints to the safety of her classroom. Emily worries. What if her students hate her? Or worse, what if the teachers hate her? Emily waits until the bell rings, then gathers her folders and walks to the field.
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Lulu lines up at the back of an exceedingly long line, trying to peer over her classmates' shoulders to see the teacher standing at the front. She catches a glimpse of him - a bulky man in his mid-forties, wearing a grey suit. His shoes, she notices, shine brightly in the sun. His balding head shines just as much as his shoes. She giggles.
A small, nervous-looking teacher approaches. Lulu smiles. The teacher is carrying a bundle of books and folders. The shiny, balding teacher introduces the small rabbity young woman whom Lulu has already noticed as Miss Emily Jones.
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Emily walks into the staffroom at break. All heads turn and look at the new arrival. She puts her head low, hoping her hair will cover her burning cheeks. She creeps to a table at the back and sits down, chewing on her peanut butter sandwich. A handful of other young teachers join her table and start talking to her. She answers monosyllabically, but soon finds herself relaxing and talking to them properly. She finds out their names and they talk about the subjects they teach and the kids they have taught.
Emily finds herself caught up in the animated conversation and starts to enjoy herself. The peanut butter becomes more than a lump of soggy bread, her flaming cheeks cool and she feels at home.
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Lulu sits by herself at lunch, unsure of where to go or what to do. Three girls call to her and motion for her to sit down. She sits, relieved to have found some friends. They talk about school, tell Lulu about themselves. Lulu relaxes and starts realising that high school isn't so bad.
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Emily leaves the staff room happily, contented with her new friends. As she walks down the corridor, she thinks about her next class. Year Seven. English. She smiles. They are new too.
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ReplyDeleteWell done Hannah! This is a strong response that explores your impressions of Reddam in a highly imaginative and original way. Your double narrative presents two perspectives that complement each other in surprising and interesting ways. Your descriptive writing is vivid overall, using imagery very effectively. There is room for improvement here, however, as this is not sustained throughout the piece.
Your language and grammar are very sound.
This is well structured, with an effective opening, middle and concluding phase. An understated yet powerful ending. Very well handled!