Saturday, March 5, 2011

GEMMA CREATIVE WRITING TASK 2

The soft sound of the whirring fan woke me up, sun streaming through the windows I knew it was a beautiful summers day.
“Perfect day for an adventure!” I said to myself, staring out the window across the ocean, towards the horizon.
I got dressed and ready for the day ahead then got on my bicycle and road down the path to my cousins’ house. As I assumed, their whole family was still asleep so I banged on the window of Bens room, then without hesitation opened it and climbed through. To my surprise, he was awake and in the kitchen making toast.
“Dude hurry up we HAVE to go now or we won’t have enough time” I urged, pushing him out of the house and onto our bikes.
“ Hey. I was making some food for us, gees” Ben told me.
With no time to waste, I rode past him, out the gate and down the dusty tracks through the bush then onto our secret path. He caught up to me and we rode together, dodging potholes and then finally up the final hill that would lead us down to our secret beach.
Over the summer holidays we had been staying on the tropical island we visit every year, but only on the 14th year of Ben and I visiting, we discovered this secret little beach. ‘Our beach’ as we called it was a tiny little strip of sand lasting about twenty meters long with rocks and rocky islands at each end. The rocky islands had a small family of seals living on it in a little cave. The beach we thought was the best snorkelling on the island, and we went out very far to a small reef off the shore.
Today, we brought an underwater camera because we always saw really cool things and wanted to take photos of them.

As we were swimming around, past one of the rocky islands, I saw a stingray! It wasn’t an ordinary stingray, it was a MASSIVE black creature with a 2 metre long tail. The spike on the end of the tail was also extremely large. I tapped Ben on the shoulder and pointed to it. He got a huge shock and started swimming really fast towards the shore with me following him very close behind. As soon as we got to the shallow water, we stood up and just stood there startled and then got out of the water and roe home as fast as we could to tell our families.

When we got home and told them none of them believed us! Until, that is we showed them the photos of our trip and in the background of one was the stingray! They were also very shocked. They all thought that that kind of creature was only found in other parts of the world! They all said that if its tail had speared us we would have dies right on the spot because it is the most poisonous stingray in the world!
It was so scary, but we keep going snorkelling there but this time we brought the whole family!

1 comment:

  1. 14

    Well written Gemma! A well structured narrative with some great descriptive passages. You need to provide more information about the characters to improve this: their appearance, personalities, etc. Also focus more on the key moment with the stingray and provide more details.

    Well expressed in terms of spelling and grammar. Some problems with lack of full stops in parts of this.

    ReplyDelete