Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Task 2-Hannah Rubinstein

SNAP!
I straighten the covers of my bed and pull the sheets back neatly. I crouch down to tuck in the edges and I see a strange, glowing object under my bed. It shimmers invitingly, so I pick it up and slip it on my wrist. The bracelet, I see, has a small round face on it, like a watch. But instead of numbers, there are small pictures around the face. Two small arrows are resting on the picture that should have been six.
I shrug, the worries dislodging themselves from their tightly packed positions on my shoulders. I smile at the new accessory and prepare myself for the day.
On the way to school, I pause. An old, unfamiliar man is sitting on a wall nearby. His eyes briefly take on a vacant expression, his mouth is slack. Suddenly, his eyes register and he swings round to face me. I break into a sweat as I see his wrist...
I run, away from that place, away, as far as I can go. My mind tumbles and twists. I push open the school gates, shaking my head. I walk to the reception, receive a late note and trudge slowly to class. Maths. I groan. An older student walks past. His eyes become unfocused. As I walk past, he swings round to stare at me and I notice the hungry expression in his eyes and I see his wrist...
I sprint down the corridor, nearly crashing into my English teacher who, unlike me, rounds the corner at an acceptable pace. I apologize, show her my late note and sprint away again, hoping she doesn't find me rude.
I sit at my desk, waiting for instruction. The maths teacher walks in, his eyes suddenly blurry. His limbs limp and his posture weak. He swivels determinedly to face me, and I scream, seeing the sharp, alert look in his before blurred eye. His eyes glint with malice as he makes his way toward me and I take in his wrist...
I glance at my 'watch'. The arrows swing wildly about, stopping on one picture, then another. I let my arm fall to my side in desperation. I run past the corridor, out into the courtyard at the back of the school. I am trapped. I can't go back, I can't go forward.
There is a large, stone wall surrounding the courtyard. The grounds are bare - no trees or shrubs, or anything to hide behind. All exits are blocked by a person - male or female, each person with  the same sharp look in his eye and the same object on his wrist...
I stop. I can't hide. It's pointless. I turn around and look one of them in the eye. A silent message passes between us, and I know what they want. They want the watch.
The old, unfamiliar man I had seen earlier steps forward.
    'The watch joins its owner to a secret group. It is a malfunction in our placing system. You should not have received the bracelet. It is not yours. If you do not give it back, the consequences could be serious. You have 10 seconds.'
I glance around the circle of menacing people. I hesitate, then fumble with the strap of the watch. The old man watches with a greedy look in his eye. I hold out my hand with the watch laid carefully in my palm. The man takes the watch reverently, then the circle fades ever so slowly, and I'm left standing there, breathing hard, alone.
                                                                                                                                By Hannah Rubinstein Year 7 2011

1 comment:

  1. 17

    Well done Hannah! This is an excellent response. Very tense, well structured, building to a terrific climax. You manage to successfully evoke an eerie, nightmarish quality throughout your story. Some very vivid descriptions, with great use of metaphors. You should attempt to include more of these and perhaps some personification too to add more poetic depth to your language. Some more background on characters perhaps to make them more three dimensional?

    Beautifully written. Accurate expression throughout. Very well done.

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