Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Suspicious Shadow

Monique Belovukovic

It was a ridiculously sweaty hot day, maybe the hottest in the last century. It was to hot to play sport, to hot to watch TV and way to hot to even go to the beach. I know the beach is usually the best place to be when the temperature is over forty-five degrees but since it was so terrifyingly hot, if you were at the beach for more than one hour anyone would turned to dust. So what I thought would be the best thing to do would have a cold bath.

Made a decision to go and have a cold bath, turned on the water to get ready.  When I returned the water was just about to over flow but thank god I was there in time to turn off the tap. Otherwise I would get grounded for flooding the bathroom floor.  It looked iced cold but really it was actually pretty warm. After a while it was getting very boring just sitting in a bath doing nothing, so I decided to do a little experiment. Compare outsides temperature to the temperature of the “apparently” cold bath. So I opened up the window feeling a warm breeze past by holding my thermometer when all of a sudden I saw a huge shadow pass my head and across the bathroom wall. I quickly slammed the window shut in huge a rush. Now I was really anxious but suspicious, I crossed my fingers hoping it wasn’t a scary bird like a crow or magpie that has suddenly flown into the bathroom. Meantime my thermometer dropped out of the window when it was slammed shut. I wanted to go down stairs and collect the thermometer but I was petrified of what could have been the shadow as I was home alone.  I tippy toed down stairs only to hear a “Boo”. It was my sister Stephanie, she just got back from the beach. Stephanie really wanted to scare me.

When I calmed down I looked at Stephanie’s face and it was dripping wet with sweat. I asked Stephanie did you run home from the beach? She replied “yes”, she was so hungry and wanted to come home to eat.  I went back to bathtub while Stephanie made us some toasted sandwiches. She returned in about ten minutes with the best toasted sandwiches we ate together in the cold bath.

Now that I got my thermometer I managed to finish my experiment. We measured the air temperature and it was forty- two degrees out side and our cold bath was twenty-one degrees.  Would you believe, the difference in temperature was twenty degrees, absolutely crazy.

Soon Mum and Dad arrived home and they came to greet us in the bathroom, interested why we were getting on so well on a hot day, which are usually really stressful for me. It ended up to be a great day even though my younger sister nearly gave me a heart attack by being a giant shadow but she made up for it by making great toasted sandwiches.

1 comment:

  1. Well written Monique. Some tense moments in this narrative based on autobiographical experiences. You need to provide more information about your characters: appearance, personalities, habits etc to add depth to your story. Provide more detailed descriptions of the key moments.

    Spelling good for the most part. Some problems with punctuation: more full stops required to help organise the flow of your ideas. Some problems with grammar, eg shifting back and forth between past and present tenses. Overall, however, a good response. Well done.

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